Third Quarter Book List (Self-Help, Polygamy, and More Than One Memoir)

This third term of the year I have done a LOT of listening to books. 

Friends, if you haven't already downloaded the CloudLibrary app, or Audible, or something, YOU ARE MISSING OUT!!! So much of this quarter has been spent painting, cleaning, and driving, which made it such a gift for me to have so many books (many read by the authors!), available. #booksaremylovelanguage

These books will be out of order, but I am going to begin today with all of the audible books I listened to...I hope you are encouraged to listen more. 

Once Upon a Farm: Lessons on Growing Love, Life, and Hope on a New Frontier- Rory Feek

http://flakymn.blogspot.com/2018/09/lifesteading.html

About three years ago, I read AND LOVED! Rory's first book, This Life I Live : One Man's Extraordinary, Ordinary Life and the Woman Who Changed It Forever. 

It. 

Was. 

Incredible.

Having NO IDEA who Rory was prior, the book captured my attention when I saw it on an end cap at Walmart and I thought, sure, why not? 

Surprise, surprise, Rory is an excellent writer and I enjoyed the book so much. 

Farm is a little different. 

There isn't so much passion written through these pages, more of an update on Rory and his girls. The chapters keep you engaged as they flash back and forth through time, and he is purposeful to include chapters with hightlights of each of his daughters. 

SPOTLIGHT: My biggest takeaway and something I find too rare and too "politically incorrect" in today's, American society: Rory shares the struggles he has over particular realities in his life. For instance, he believes gay marriage to be wrong, and he shares this, like a confessional, in light of how close it is to his home and heart. He doesn't hide his convictions, or glide past them for the sake of sales or trying to be someone he is not. He has disappointments, heartaches, and misunderstandings and he invites the reader to see his struggles. 

I can appreciate that, Rory. Thank you so much.

 

--- 

I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness- Austin Channing Brown

                        https://sojo.net/magazine/july-2018/understand-and-be-understood

This was the first of Brown's books I have read/listened to. I confess, her name jumped out at me because she is kind of a BIG DEAL right now. Many of the authors I already know are name-dropping and recommending Brown as essential reading for this current life state. 

Written as a memoir sharing specifics from over the course of her life, Brown shares her disappointments in humanity. (Everyone assumes she is a boy because of her first name, plus, she is black and a woman, so she seems to have been fighting an uphill battle the majority of her life.)

There are stories woven through here which are, indeed, disappointing. Disheartening, even. There is also some redemption, some women-power/black-power ethos, and lots of well-executed points written within these pages.

Example of a quote I loved: 

“It’s work to be the only person of color in an organization, 

bearing the weight of all your white co-workers’ questions about Blackness.”

There is a caveat to all the praise I hope to offer here, however, and I am going to highlight it with a quote I do not love. (A little background, Dr. Simms was one of Brown's first black professors. [A fact I think I remember her sharing.] He would quote this last line OVER AND OVER and she would take it as a mantra to speak through the course of her life OVER AND OVER. 

Brown BELIEVES this. 

She sees this as FREEING and EMPOWERING and I kept hearing this and could not stop asking myself how this isn't entirely contradictory to the rest of her book and how on earth this man's words gained so much power. 

THIS was my biggest takeaway, and it left a terrible taste in my mouth.)

The quote: 

“Dr. Simms wanted us to be emotionally connected to our learning, 

to sit in the pain, the horror, the absurdity of America’s racist history, 

and to humanize those who dared stand against the system. 

Dr. Simms made us believe that we could follow that legacy of resistance, 

but one piece of his advice stood out to me more than all the others. 

“Ain’t no friends here.”

"Ain't no friends here." 

What in the world, Brown? What in the actual world? 

It is like you are confessing that there are prejudices in this world and you want to shed light on and exploit them all because they are wrong and sinful and people be crazy...yet, this. How is this not a contradictory statement? 
I had a really hard time with this one, friends. Anyone care to help me make sense of this? 

*Quotes were found on Goodreads, where I googled, "What was that phrase Austin Channing Brown's professor kept repeating over and over?"

---

All The Light We Cannot See- Anthony Doerr

                              https://padmoreculture.com/products/all-the-light-we-cannot-see?variant=33458012174

This was painstakingly well-written. Plus, it takes place during World War II, so you can bet I was already really interested in it's subject manner.

Similar to Gentleman, I was caught up in the main characters and enjoyed learning about how they lived, thought, and how the span of some time deepened their personalities. 

This story highlights two protagonists and how their lives intertwine under such interesting and unfortunate circumstances: A World War and a Personal Handicap.

I particularly appreciated the redemption in this story. It is long-coming, but if you make it to the end (and don't skip ahead, it won't do the book justice!), it will be well worth it!

---

The Polygamist's Daughter: A Memoir- Anna LeBaron and Leslie Wilson

                                             https://www.interabangbooks.com/event/polygamists-daughter

This book has been on my radar for awhile now. I first heard Anna (pronounced "On-na") share about her life and story on Jen Hatmaker's For The Love podcast. Both Anna and Ruth (whom we will come back around to) share so much about a world I knew absolutely nothing about: a polygamist colony where people follow their "chosen leaders" to the death...and the death of others as well. 

Anna's storytelling is engaging and sadly beautiful. Within the pages, there is redemption (apparently this is a theme I gravitate towards), and there is utter heartbrokenness. 

Her father (the famous Ervil LeBaron) utters, like, two sentences to her- in her entire life, and the people she loves the most in this world, those who are good and kind and somehow escaped from the evils within the colony, both die such horrific deaths that I felt the ripple-effect of that heartbreak so far it felt personal. 

Anna, I am so sorry for that hurt. 

On a personal note, I *kind of* got to know Anna awhile back when she launched Rachel Hollis' book, Girl, Stop Apologizing, and I was on the launch team. This is something Anna loves to do and *hey girl, hey* SO DO I!! #givemeallthebooks 

---

Whiskey in a Teacup: What Growing Up in the South Taught Me About Life, Love, and Baking Biscuits -Reese Witherspoon 

                                                 https://boundlessblissblog.com/2018/11/04/whiskey-in-a-teacup/ 

Reese's book about life in the south during her childhood, and how so much of it is still very particular in her everyday, Hollywood, adult life, is a quick read. The stories Reese shares are short and often whimsical...you'll for sure giggle. She offers slang and southern etiquette as well as tons of delicious recipes! I confess, I have a difficult time thinking that anyone who has the ability to pay someone else to cook for them would not absolutely jump on that, but Reese makes it seem as though she genuinely enjoys cooking...plus her southern upbringing. 

Side Note: In a culture where it seems like anyone who grew up white, semi-privileged, and happy is a culture taboo (how dare she??), I was happy to hear Reese share stories which felt like, you know, people are allowed to be grateful without feeling bad. Whether that was the intention or not, I appreciated it. 

 

---

What We Talk About When We Talk About God- Rob Bell

Confession, I LOVED Rob during his NOOMA phase, and then I wasn't sure if I was SUPPOSED to like him when he became so...well...out there. I remember reading Love Wins: At the Heart of Life's Big Questions and thinking, "he actually believe every single person is going to die and go to Heaven- this is the gospel he is preaching!", and, of course, it felt all sorts of blasphemous.  

It's a great idea, Rob, better, maybe, than God's idea 

that man can come to Him only through Jesus, 

but it is not what the Bible says, dude!

So I think that Talk is a well-written, eye-opening, what-if kind of book. A really good description can be found, not by me stringing some words together, but by watching Rob talk about his book, himself. (You can see that video, here.)  

Rob is clearly very intelligent and affluent. I am a fan of his "throw-out-the-cookie-cutter, this-has-always-been-but-let's-see-if-it-still-stands" personality. Also, he can tell a story about a rock and will finds 17 separate layers to share about said rock. (One of the commenters on another one of his videos put it really well stating, "I love how Rob can talk on and on about nothing at all.")

As with many books, and ALL of Rob's, I suggest reading this and dissecting it for yourself. 

---

Find Your Path: Honor Your Body, Fuel Your Soul, and Get Strong with the Fit52 Life -Carrie Underwood

               https://countryfancast.com/carrie-underwood-find-your-path/

If you just love Carrie and all things Carrie, sure, read this. 

If you want an idea of how to be physically fit and maybe try the accountability of Fit52, read this book. 

But if you are hoping for anything deep, you will not find it here. 

Path is a "filler" book.  My guess is that Carrie needed something to put out there for her fans, but this comes across as generic to me.

There is nothing revolutionary here, and, to be honest, I almost returned the book to CloudLibrary before it ended because I was all, "yeah...I really don't need to hear you and your assistant read every time you move your left leg, right leg". It's a little boring. A little bland. 

--- 

Me & Patsy Kickin' Up Dust: My Friendship with Patsy Cline -Loretta Lynn 

     https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/books/info-2020/loretta-lynn-and-patsy-cline-excerpt.html

Oh, Leretty...I just think you are special. 

Growing up, Coal Miner's Daughter would be heard from my momma's cd player, or seen on our family tv from time to time and it always struck me as innocent and wonderful.

In the summertime, we didn't have shoes to wear

But in the wintertime we all get a brand new pair... 

In Dust, Loretta shares all kinds of fun stories about she and Patsy, ranging from their initial meeting in Patsy's hospital room, to the time Patsy taught her how to shave her legs, right beside her, on the edge of a tub. 

I was surprised to read that Loretta is so liberal and she even cursed a few times throughout the book, which always caught me off guard: like witnessing a nun smoking. (It is her daughter, Patsy, who reads the audio book.)

The book inspired me to want to listen to good ole songs like Coal Miner's Daughter, Walkin' After Midnight, and Grandpa (Tell Me 'Bout the Good Old Days). 

It started a chain reaction, too. 

My sons got to hear some of these classics as I suddenly began playing them while we would be driving. 

Plus, I bought my grandma both Loretta and Patsy's Greatest Hits and we sat together and listened. 

They made her emotional. 

Patsy's death was real untimely, and I always get a sinking feeling in my gut when she is flying through the clouds in C.M.D., the movie. 

Thank you for sharing, Loretta. 

Your friendship with Patsy was special and I enjoyed reliving some of the "good ole' days" with you.  

  

---

Untamed- Glennon Doyle Melton

                                                             https://www.bookpassage.com/glennondoyle

But of course. 

This is likely one of the most well-known on my list this quarter, if not this year. Three of my favorite book-friends, Shelly, Kelly, and Mindy, (holla!) and I were all reading it at the same time and sending -sometimes daily- text messages ala, "Did you get to this part yet?" and "What do you think about...?"

In Glennon-fashion, she shares her experiences and her feelings about all the things 

NO HOLDS BARRED.

Glennon is blunt, she is compelling, and she is a great storyteller. 

Case in point: the chapter about her friend's son possibly looking at porn and Glennon exclaiming something along the lines of, "Regardless of how uncomfortable you feel, go in there and get him! Save your son! Protect your baby!" The chapter was BEYOND. 

A+, Glennon. 

As with all very liberal views, I would ask, 

Sure, don't we all want to be cheetahs? Don't we all want to be free? 

Yes, with a resounding nod of the head, we do. 

But we also want truth. 

And if your truth is fluid -and mine as well- then we need something that is stable, something that is the MOST TRUTH from which to base all the rest- all of our fluidity. 

I don't know if there was enough of that.

I enjoyed listening to Glennon tell her life's story, and it made for very interesting texts between my friends and I, but this one deserves more than an audio book, where I would listen whilst I worked. 

This one requires sitting down. 

Reading with my eyes. 

SEEING THE WORDS. 

This is the one and only book I read this year which I KNOW I will return to with every intention of dissecting it. Care to join me? 

 --------

The remainder of the books listed here are those I read, not listened to. 

You'll notice a few themes: 
-There are a handful of self-help books

-three of the eight books are written by Rachel Hollis 

I suppose this is a good representation of what my life is like these days: self-improving- always, and light-hearted reading about silly girls, and what to make for dinner.

---

Love Warrior -Glennon Doyle Melton

                                           https://www.onwardspirit.com/love-warrior/

A few years ago I got on the Glennon-Train and read through both Love Warrior and Carry-On Warrior, really enjoying the former. 

When I found Love Warrior for just a dollar (hey, hey!) I snatched it up because, with my own copy, I knew I could highlight all the parts of the book which "spoke to me" -which was a good half of the book.

Warrior takes us back to Glennon's childhood and the way she describes herself as "taking up too much space" and the beginnings of her eating disorder and the distorted way of looking at herself. 

All of this struck me as SO REAL, honest, and true to my own experiences. 

As she enters her teenage and adult years, her experiences of sex and how little she thinks of it continued to stick with me as such a brutally honest look at how the half of the world which isn't sex-crazy functions. She would make comments about sex just "happening to her" and I wanted to scream "Yes! Right!?!" This was so true-to-life that I felt I could not better describe my own thoughts. As if Glennon's truth was a liberating one, giving voice to the silenced.   

---

The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir- Ruth Wariner

 

https://www.bookofthemonth.com/blog/poverty-abuse-death-polygamy-behind-the-sound-of-gravel-36

Swinging back around to Ruth, she shares her account of living as a daughter of a polygamist who is killed by Ervil LeBaron (Anna's father) and how her life was shaped by the religion/lifestyle/stronghold of that culture. Ruth's story paints a picture of her mom as a hopelessly devoted wife to not one but two polygamist men and the horrible accounts of abuse she and her children endured, all while accepting this as "God's Way". 

Ruth's story will have you rooting for this young girl and wishing desperately for her mom to see the situation for what it was. She will not, and the sound of gravel will be her untimely death. 

What a heartbreaking story. 

As for Ruth, she will go on to raise her younger siblings and -quite literally- become the greatest thing to ever happen to her family. 

Side note: Both Anna and Ruth will later meet one another and realize that they are cousins. Their memoirs were released around the same time, but they had no idea the other existed until they shared their stories.

 

---

Real Life Dinners: Fun, Fresh, Fast Dinners from the Creator of the Chic Site- Rachel Hollis 

http://www.homeboundbuthopeful.com/2019/06/12/week-family-meals-1/

Filled with great-looking meals and happy family pictures, R.L.D. was a quick read, showcasing memories behind some of the Rachel's favorite meals. 

I borrowed this book from the library and had hoped to make about half of the recipes. 

I wish I could tell you I went through with it. 

I wanted to! 

I did not, however, because, you know, life. 

Plus, remember Whisky above? Yeah, I still don't like to cook...find it fascinating that anyone does.

---
Party Girl- Rachel Hollis

                                           

https://www.facebook.com/TheChicSite/photos/party-girl-is-the-first-book-i-ever-wrote-and-i-honestly-never-imagined-it-would/10154122521796259/

Following the life of sweet and innocent Landon, Party Girl takes us behind the scenes of what, presumably, Rachel experienced as a Party Planner herself. Landon is likeable, if not quite realistic. Always so perfect, even when she's not, you know? 

I did not love it, but I was curious about the Rachel before G.W.Y.F. fame. 

---

Smart Girl- Rachel Hollis

I realize that I read this one before reading Sweet Girl (which I have not yet got around to, but will), so the story line was a little spoiled, but it was similar to Party Girl- not quite amazing. Still, this one superseded P.G. because Miko wasn't a perfect protagonist but instead a self-destructing girl who just wanted to be loved. And I can get on board with that.

---

Christy- Catherine Marshall

 

http://thestorysanctuary.com/review-christy-by-catherine-marshall/

The favorite book of my beloved Annie F. Downs, I jumped at the chance to read this one!
Following the life of Christy as she navigates a world unknown to her- one of poverty and superstition in Applelachia in the early 1900s, Catherine writes about the world seen through the eyes of a sweet, naive, young woman. As a newcomer, school teacher, and eventual love interest, Christy learns how to love these backwards people more than the spoils she had grown to know in the comforts of childhood home in Asheville, NC.  

The read is engaging but I have to know...what the heck with the ending, man? 

It was like the story just...ended. Just like that. 

Plus, the doctor or the teacher/preacher? Which one??? 

---

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery- Ian Morgan Cron

https://bfguidetoeverything.com/road-back-to-you-enneagram-may-2019/

Ian's book has been on my "to read" list for over a year now. Since taking an interest in the Enneagram, and listening to Ian on his podcast, Typology, I knew this would serve as a deep-dive into the Enneagram ("the Gram") and why it is we do what we do with particular motivations, and what being "in health" looks like verses being "in unhealth". 

The book received all kinds of accolades, every author-friend of mine who knows the Gram, knows Ian. For what it was, the book was interesting. I took about a dozen notes on my Number, (2) and all the intricacies surrounding being a 2. 

If you are new to this conversation and have NO IDEA what the Gram is, 

I will try to sum it up for you and even offer you a link to a free assessment online. 

As opposed to a Personality Test, which informs you of "who" you are, the Enneagram teaches you the WHYS behind your motivations. Where the former may tell you that you are a "Helper", the latter goes on to explain that you are likely a "Helper" because you have a deep-seated desire to be needed. 

Furthermore, it will help you to see if that desire to help others is healthy, as in, you gain personal satisfaction by doing so, or if it is done begrudgingly, perhaps with a constant narrative of "Well if I don't do it, no one will", or "No one evens notices me until there is laundry to put away.". 

Maybe a personality test will inform you that you are a "Type-A" personality which is a strong trait bent towards perfectionism and dominance. The Enneagram will go on to explain that you are this way because...you have a lot of common sense and/or personal drive.

Further, it offers examples of what your Number may lean towards or come from when you are healthy and when you are not- each Number moves TOWARDS a Number when Stressed and AWAY FROM a Number when Secure, so when you see attributes of the OTHER Number, you can see if you are healthy or not. *Healthy can be substituted for Stressed. You can see if you are Stressed or not.  

  

OK, is this confusing? 
I imagine it is. 

It is still confusing to me- also, fascinating. 

Here is a test from Ian's site. 

He is a world-renown leader in the Gram and his assessments are likely amongst the best in the world. 

If you aren't interested in dropping some cash, here is a FREE alternative to get you started.

HEAD'S UP: The first time you see the insignia...well...it may look crazy. It may look wiccan. You may question if this is blasphemy or somehow evil. 

I don't think so, and I don't type that nonchalantly. 

As with anything, take it with a grain of salt. It is not Gospel.   

As for all those lines in that circle...they are just the Numbers, all touching one another somehow. Nothing to crazy, mmmkay? 

https://memegenerator.net/instance/55121787/office-space-that-would-be-great-yeaaahim-gonna-need-some-more-detailed-feedback-mmmkay

 ---

The One Thing- Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan

https://www.atpeacewithmoney.com/2018/book-review-the-one-thing/

The One Thing was a recommended read, recommended to me by my Doctor of Functional Medicine. (If you are interested in a Holistic approach to health and medicine, you may want to consider Dr. Nair with Aura Integrative Medicine Clinic. It does not matter where you live, as she is conducting her meetings virtually. Dr. Nair is kind and informative. I am still new to her practice, but feel that she is thorough at offering an array of techniques to help aid in someone's situation. Case-in-point: in addition to food suggestions, she recommended meditation, supplements, gratitude practices and-because she knew I enjoyed doing so- reading.) 

 

Surprisingly, this was a quick and interesting read. The concept was not the surprising part, but the content. Self-Help and Performance-Based information can all seem very long-winded and overwhelming, but One Thing was anything other than. 

Gary and Jay are entertaining, humorous even. They  share personal stories and they keep their message clear. 

The cover, even, is intentionally precise. 

Stay focused. 

Find your daily One Thing and keep your eyes on it. 

It's simple, really. 

---

Eat That Frog: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time- Brian Tracy  

       

 https://waymakerlearning.com/book-review-eat-that-frog-brian-tracy/

Also recommended to me by Dr. Nair (who accurately deciphered that I am stressed and disorganized), Frog is a practical book which is helpful.

It didn't rock my world, but it is practical, so.... 

Combing through different highlights for getting stuff done (More Stuff-Less Time), Tracy's Frog concept is simple: do the thing you want to do least (but needs done), FIRST, and then the remainder of the day or work-task is more pleasant by default. You overcome the biggest hurdle and they all get smaller from there. 

Once you've mustered up the can-do/must-do/will-do spirit required to complete this, it is actually brilliant.

---

The 5 Second Rule- Mel Robbins 

https://www.themeritclub.com/new-blog-1/2017/10/5/mel-robbins-revolution-of-the-5-second-rule

Do you know Mel Robbins yet? OK, if not, you should. I think the lady is impressive on 100 different levels. The best part of her? 

She's real...like, FOR REAL FOR REAL. 

She will curse and complain and walk you through real crap in real time, not waiting for filters and time to paint a prettier picture.  

Mel makes me believe that she is a real person, not "Perfection Personified". 

There will be no, "I do ALL THIS, ALL THE TIME, all BY MYSELF because I am just SO MOTIVATED and PERFECT and you, too, can be perfect LIKE ME if you just WANT IT BAD ENOUGH."

Nope. 

Instead, Mel will be the first to say, hey, this 5 Second Rule changed my life but...guess what? It's is actually really simple. Stupid, even. -That might actually be a lose quote from her book.

Here is a link which I listened to over and over as I painted one of my son's bedrooms recently. It has some curse words but -HOT DAMN!- it's SO GOOD!!!

As for The 5 Second Rule book... Blah. 

I enjoy listening to Mel SO MUCH but the book read as boring to me and she inserted so many comments from readers which was nice, but also a total filler. 

Given the book or the Ted Talk, I recommend the Talk. You can access it here. 

And that's it, ya'll!

Have you read/listened to any of these books yet? 
Are you familiar with any authors, or have you be inspired to look into any of the authors and books listed above? 
Also, what are some of your recommendations? Do you have a favorite (or a few favorites) book you have read this year? 

Please share! Let's inspire and share these gems with one another. 

-always, gomommyblogger 

The Way They Sleep (plus Conversations with Marmie)

Demitri asked me to lie down with him tonight. This is not new or unusual. This is not a boy who is afraid of the dark or was upset in any visible way, but rather a boy of seven who is still so sweet and precious it pains my heart to look at him for too long. A boy who wants to be so grown and yet is still so baby-like that to look at him is to smirk, grin, or full-on smile like a loon. A huge, toothy smile. 

Complete and utter amazement, that boy. 

What began as a weekend sleepover, to which I am almost always asked to sleep with one, two, or all three of my sons, has become an almost nightly question. I confess, I love it. 

So tonight I lay with him, for just a few minutes as it is not a sleepover night, and I listened to him breath. 

There is a rhythmic melody which plays out with the breathing in and breathing out of a child. It is relaxing, like a lullaby, and calming like a salve. It is deep breathing, a child well on his way to Wonderland, and the accompanying moments which follow are a circus and a symphony at once.

You may catch a word mumbled through the space of Dreamland and reality. A word or phrase which the child will not remember the next morning, but you will ponder upon, asking yourself if it was a good word or not, a good dream or not, a good sleep, or not. 

Clues can be found. A giggle in one's sleep is always a treasure to be heard. It requires little of the audience but a smile one cannot stop and perhaps a giggle of your own in response to the first, which will come from your belly, from your heart, and from your soul.

A fart released from the sleeper will demand another set of giggles, so innocent, with nothing to hide, the fart one offers in his sleep. 

And the arms. A tell-tale sign of the peace found behind one's eyes. I particularly enjoy the hands-behind-the-head with arms out and bent at the elbows, like a child enjoying the sun while relaxing at the beach in his dreams. This pose seems so grown to me, although I have witnessed it in all three of my sons from the time of babyhood.    

There is the breath, which begins with the baby as sweet and delicate, and later evolves from the smell to just the feel. A child's cool breath against your cheek or your arm. How it feels like a small wind choosing carefully its location to bless, over and over, with each exhale. A chilly, relaxing, grateful blowing.

Long sighs, also, are so simple and yet so magical. A reminder of rest and peace and a contentment found within the resting. An audible reminder to anyone who hears that this one is in a blissful state. La-La-Land has come and the sleeper has fallen gently into her arms.     

So it is here, in the moments before I, too, fall asleep, which I enjoy without end. Running my fingers through the wild hair of my son, drawing pictures on his back with my fingers, giving him chills which help him to sleep, and kissing his nose once, twice, three times, without him pushing me away. 

Given the opportunity-and there is always opportunity!-whispering into my son's ear "You are so wonderful. I am glad you are mine. You're the best Zeplin/Demetri/Thatcher ever- the kid of my dreams."

I will ask my sleeping child, "Do you know that? Do you know you are the best?" Occasionally, somewhere between consciousness, he will smile, shake his head "yes" or even mumble, "I know." 

I drape my arm over him, enveloping him in a gentle and snug half-hug, letting him know he is safe and he is loved.  And in these moments, I am reminded without doubt that I am blessed.  

-----

They make me crazy and yet I have never loved three people more in my life. I know they are my sons and that many people feel this way about their own children, but really, my kids are super cool.

And yet...today.

Today I confessed to Big Strong Man that sometimes our sons get on my nerves. 

 

This isn't headlining-newsworthy news, but it is a confession I have never once felt comfortable sharing. With anyone. Ever. 

It feels like a sad, rotten, completely wrong thing to say. And words have meaning, so admitting these words aloud felt like some painful landmark, one I could not unsee, or unsay. 

This confession of mine is notable because A) I first shared that beautiful poem above about how crazy I am over them- when they sleep. 

And, B) this all led up to a conversation I had with Marmie tonight during which she offered SO MANY ONE LINERS I darn-near interrupted her every other moment with a "Oh, that was good", and a "Dang! That is powerful". 

Tonight my Marmie was full of wisdom. 

This isn't her normal. She's smart and purposes to speak life over you when you speak with her, but she's also the long-winded, slow to come around on her thoughts and feelings type. The one who says the same things over and over in four different ways because she isn't quite certain how to articulate what she really wants to say. 

So it must be said that when her "type" drops a zinger, you stop and you listen. 

I was having a moment, offering a scenario in which I felt weak, and, almost like a rebuke and a rebuttal combined she interrupted my reverie with this:

You can have pity or you can have power, Shannon. 

You cannot have them both. 

What was THAT? 

Where did that come from? 

And her timing? Spot. Freaking. On.

We talked further and before long she dropped another card with this one:

Shannon, don't dance with him. Don't give him (the devil) the satisfaction. 

Make him mad in your refusal. 

Don't dance with that fool. 

What. 

In. 

The. 

Actual. 

World? 

She was on fire and I did not want to stop her and ask if these are Marmie-Originals or if she read them in one of her Joyce Meyer or Joel Osteen books, I just took them from her and made a mental note to remember them. (Honestly, between Demitri's sweet sleep and all these words of eye-widening wonder, there was no way I could keep myself from compiling this post. If for no other reason, and no other person, I know that I will need these reminders someday. That there is life in the simple and the profound, and that I don't want to forget any of it.)

-always, gomommyblogger