I am NOT Important

Feb. 5th, 2014

I am NOT Important
I am NOT Important, cried the four year old from the other room.
My racing heart and overwhelmed mind had caught-up to me and 
I raised my voice at him.
He was playing with crafts I had laid out, but they were not for him.
I felt as though I had set him up for failure.

So I raised my voice and he ran into the other room.
His voice was mumbled, between the tears and what sounded like 
his questioning himself.
I am not important.
I am NOT important.
I AM NOT IMPORTANT.

Yes, I had heard him correctly.
I stopped what I was doing, a silly Valentine craft, and I approached 
him gently where he sat on the kitchen floor.
What did you say?, I asked, making him repeat himself yet again.
I had heard it clearly.
Oh sweet boy.
I asked if I could hold him. He said yes.

I held him, there on the kitchen floor, as he cried.
You are important. I told him.
You ARE important.
YOU. ARE. IMPORTANT!

In the mind of a four year old, I wonder if he felt his very presence was 
unwanted; that he truly lost everything about him that was important, 
or perhaps questioned if he ever was important in the first place.

I had heard it said before that "no one is special".
There is no focus on the appearance of our Little Men, handsome as 
they are.
Big Strong Man and I place every emphasis on their character: who 
Christ says they are.
Children of God.
Important, children of God.        

(found here)

My heart felt as though it was breaking. To hear these words from a 
child who is so genuinely sweet and naturally sensitive, I wished them 
away immediately.
Every day -throughout the day- I tell my boys three things:
You are important;
You are loved;
You are a child of God.

After he calmed down some, we each went about our ways: he to the 
living room to play, me back to the craft. (Yes, I get it, by now I wish I 
had had the sense to pack it up, but I did not.)
It took all of three minutes before the four year old and the two year 
old both ganged-up on me in disobedience.
To the chair I yelled at one, to the corner, the other.

Once again there was wailing and the questioning of a child still doubting 
his worth, I am not important.

Now, let me state the obvious: children manipulate.
Adults do as well, but children certainly learn this trait early on.
It is not even an all-together bad thing.
When a child hears, "no" from one parent and then proceeds to the next 
parent, this is manipulation.
This is the way their brains work in problem-solving skills and process of 
elimination.
This is an important step in development. 

I wondered about this briefly, but I know my children, and I know the four 
year old is really sensitive and can be hurt easily.

When he asked me if he could get out of the corner, I told him he could, with 
one condition.
He had to yell, loudly, "I AM IMPORTANT!!!!".
He mimicked me, quietly.
No, I said, loudly. You have to hear yourself. You have to tell yourself. 
You are important!

I am important, he yelled. I AM IMPORTANT! -this time with hand motions.
Using his full name, we both yelled __ __ __, is important!!!!!
It felt wonderful!
And, prayerfully, that boy does not doubt his worth.
Not know, not ever.

God does not turn His back on us, dear friends.
There is not a thing we can do to lose His love.
If you question your importance, turn to the Scriptures.
The Word of God is living and true!
---

And this is a side-bar, but I think sometimes we need something small to 
get through the rough days. Here is one of my small, but favorite, ways to
remind myself that I am important; something I can do for me
all on my own:

                                       
                                             My wine glass filled with milk.
                                               That's how I roll most days.

When my darling friend Jen came to visit at Christmas, I wrapped up two 
wine glasses:
one for her and the other for me.
To remind you of this time we shared together, I had told her.
To think of it whenever you drink from this.

Reader, you may be underage, not a drinker at all, or not a fan of wine.
It's alright.
You have the freedom to be creative in what makes you feel human.

I happen to think drinking wine looks sophisticated and hope to be one of 
those precious women who has a glass before bed as she ages.
(I also hope to be one who dresses-up for all occasions [like the grocery 
store] in big, bright skirts and hats- very fun and full of life!)

The truth about wine for me is this: I dislike more wine than I have liked
in the sips I have had, here and there.
Still, milk, water, juice from this glass, it all looks classy to me.

Reader, YOU ROCK!,
yours, gomommyblogger