Do you believe that you have a Redeemer?
A Savior?
These are deep questions, I know.
(My hands are up. I confess, I surrender, I am humbly here, asking.)
Maybe you are reading this and rolling eyes...or sucking in deep breaths. Maybe you want to respond, but pause. Why? Are you feeling far from God? Are you feeling that God is far from you?
It's really tricky, to put our hope in a Redeemer...and what is that, anyway? A Redeemer....
A Savior? Saved from what?
All of the questions.
Sometimes this "God thing" feels overwhelming. ...my husband says I "feel" too much, but I don't know another way to express myself.
Overwhelming: Trying. Failing. Too much, too high, too long.
Legit, all of it.
We can feel overwhelmed and question what kind of Savior God really is, but in order to do this, question the Savior about His Savior-ness, we need to first acknowledge Who He is.
It is Don Miller finding the courage to tell God He doesn't exist at the car wash on Mikawa and 35.
"It took me three weeks of thinking to get up the nerve to tell God He didn't exist. ...I could
walk away from God. I mean, if God didn't answer the serious questions about life, then I
didn't have any responsibility to believe He existed. At first it was frightening, but I could
feel it in my heart that I wanted to dissociate, that if I walked away from God I would have
a kind of freedom. ...My heart beat out blood and I could feel it thump so strongly I
thought it was going to break through my skin. The light turned red and I said it. 'You don't exist', I told Him."
Of course, the best piece of this written work by Don is the continuation story in the next chapter. The portion where he completes this transaction between himself and the God he renounced. Don writes:
"And then the odd though occurred to me that I had told God He didn't exist. I told Him.
What's the use in talking to a person to tell them they aren't there?"
(Donald Miller, Searching for God Knows What)
Reader, I am not denouncing God.
I have seen Maribel come-down off of drugs while holding her hand with Frida and Cecilia.
I have been overcome with the Holy Spirit in response to Swan and Kristen and the way God had moved my heart, my prayers, and even my tears for them.
The Lord literally held me up when I was too embarrassed to do it myself, when the preacher in Ontario prayed that we would surrender ourselves by standing, demonstrating our need for a Savior.
I know too much. Have experienced too much.
This is my truth.
In today's devotional Annie writes, "...God has already said who you are. You are released to believe that you are who He says you are. That the Bible is true."
If you don't know the Bible, the God of the Bible, the stories of the Bible, there is legit truth missing from your life. It's not just gibberish.
There is a Truth that sets people free, but you have to first believe in it, and "Believing truth is always a choice." -Annie
Today's word is this:
Be Brave: Copy this prayer into your journal (or write one of your own):
God, tell me the truth of who I am. I'm listening.
I want to be free from the lies- do that for me.
Rescue me.
Bring truth like a waterfall. (emphasis mine)
I'm going to drop this song right here because it seems appropriate...and this one beneath because it is all that keeps coming to my mind.
Oceans...RIGHT? (can a girl get an amen?)
And, oh yeah, this feels right, Right. About. Here.
If this doesn't just ignite a waterfall in you...
always-
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