We moved recently. So recent, in fact, that it is about a week to the day this very moment. Moving is no joke. It requires a lot out of everyone- A WHOLE LOT. Although we laugh about being "old pros" (our youngest has now lived in 5 homes during his 6 years of life), it is still exhausting. And overwhelming. And long. The process of packing and unpacking, moving and cleaning, all the things which are inevitable, can really get to you.
No duh, right? Of course everyone knows these things, and every move has been a decision Big Strong Man and I have made together, but it still gets to the best of us.
And our kiddos, too.
What I envisioned as hours of their entertaining themselves while decorating THEIR OWN ROOMS and making them uniquely their own went up in flames after about 5 minutes. Echos of "we're bored", "I don't know what to do", or "X is taking MY marble..." filled my ears. And, honestly, after 10 minutes of the whining and complaining over Every. Single. Thing., I was done. I've done lost my patience, my temper, and my voice for all the screaming and huffing and puffing I do.
And I hate it. It makes me sick to my stomach. My heart beats like I'm on something and I can feel my gray hairs dividing. So I do the most logical things I can think of, I blame myself -and Big Strong Man, too. Apparently we didn't do right by our sons that they can be so complain-y and so bored ALL THE TIME. It is a continual rotation of asking for Minecraft, YouTube, and candy. When the answer is no, chaos ensues. "Why mom, why? You must not love us! You want us to be upset; you want us to be bored!!!" And so I withdrawal, sending them to their rooms so that I can have some peace and quite while I clean out yet another cabinet to fill with something-or-another.
It just feels so constant. Where did I go wrong with the memo to "entertain yourself", or, more importantly, "be thankful for what you have"? This seems so obvious to me. And simple, even. But I am wrong. I am wrong to think this, because if I am right and this is simple, then my children are terrible- and that's just not the case.
Can anyone relate? The honest truth is that I have great kids- they're incredible in 100 different ways, but I still lose my mind with them. I still wonder why on earth they do the things they do/say the things they say. I wonder this regarding myself as well. Why do I say what I say (and in a loud, huffy, tone)? Why do I do the things I do (scrunch up my face and bulge my eyes out)?
At the end of the day, I love them. Funny enough, I would take a bullet for them, but I don't want to listen to their complaining. So when it starts, I point in the direction of their bedrooms and remind them that they are welcomed to complain there (with their door shut), but not here...wherever I am currently standing.
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As I pick up this post it is another day. Today I reminded them to "find something to do" but I never had to yell, to angrily send them away from me.
I understand that a lot of this is normal. Parents freak out. We get overwhelmed, feel underappreciated, and are overworked. Yet I cannot help but wonder if somehow there are parents out there who don't yell- and what their secrets are.
Friends, if you have conquered the yelling beast within, PLEASE SHARE. Please share what your tips and tricks are so that those of us who struggle with peace and patience can glean from you.
Really, for the sake of parents and children alike, tell us how you do the voo-doo that you do. ...or whatever your interpretation of that is.
Alright, last bit. Read this, It comes from everyone's favorite awkward comic. It's stupid funny. Sometimes laughter is the best. Scratch that, laughter is always the best.
All the best as I put together my front room before night falls. #goals
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