McFive was invited to a friend's house for dinner a couple of months ago, to where we brought along a tub of ice cream. Since our entourage was with us, Big Strong Man stayed in our van while I ran into Food Lion. Neapolitan, he asked, can you pick-up Neapolitan?
I had every intention of picking-up Neapolitan. I did.
When I turned onto the ice cream aisle, so many flavors caught my attention that I just knew Big Strong Man would be elated when I surprised him with Snickers ice cream or something of the like.
He was polite, but it was not his Neapolitan and he was a little disappointed.
This past week we visited my family in PA and on one particular evening, my sister, Nicolette, invited us to her home for ice cream. Neapolian?, asked Big Strong Man. Sure, said Nicolette.
She returned with Cookie Dough.
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As I type it is Tuesday afternoon but events from Saturday are still very clear in my mind. In my heart. One week ago today, McFive drove the eight+ hours it takes to get to PA so that we could have a week of family-fun. We were intentional with our time because we knew there were people to see and things to do. We spent the majority of our time driving around a few surrounding counties hoping that we would see an area and HOME! would scream out to us from the Heavens.
It would appear that I had become both adamant and vocal about my
I didn't realize I was being rude.
I didn't realize I was acting as though I had become better than those who still lived there.
I didn't realize I was hurting feelings.
But I was.
First my sister told me, gently, that it hurt to hear about how crappy I felt that area was when, in fact, she was raising her family there at that moment.
On Saturday, I spoke with my father and stepmother, explaining what Nicolette had expressed and wanting to apologize if they felt the same way. I didn't expect them to agree with her, because I thought maybe she was being sensitive and I sure had not intended to be hurtful. But they did agreed with her.
My father told me I had my nose "out of line".
Big Strong Man defended my honor and became the "bad guy" sticking up for me and letting it be known that, this is our family and we will raise them where we think it is best.
Me?, I cried.
True, I don't desire to move back to where was once my home. People may get mad at me when reading this, but I know from having had lived there, that if others could get out, they would as well.
Big Strong Man says that it is like a strong tie- holding people in place. Holding them tight and never allowing them to visit the world outside.
But I have visited the world outside and I liked it!
I liken it to Neapolitan ice cream: I grew up in chocolate.
Chocolate is yummy and fun and can be wonderful...until you try vanilla.
You taste vanilla and you realize that there is more out there, a bigger, wider variety and it excites you! This is delightful and refreshing and new to you and you think that everyone should try vanilla at least once in their lives and you marvel that some people are totally fine just having chocolate and showing little interest in anything else.
You also taste strawberry and it is your favorite and you realize that, given the choice, you would prefer to live in strawberry, because why would you not chose your favorite?
This is how I feel.
McFive desires to move to PA. This is a God-given desire in our hearts.
This time away has given both Big Strong Man and I an appreciation- even for the snow!
We are coming back.
But coming home does not mean returning to what I have always known. This is an adventure, one for both of us to experience for the first time together.
A land new to us both.
After his heated blast of "what's what" on Saturday, my husband sat with my father and told him a simple truth.
Mark, he said, you are home to Shannon. You and all the others. Not this town. Not this county. You. Shannon wants to return to you. She desires to be nearer to home.
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For all the Neapolitan ice cream in the world,
I love you Big Strong Man-
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