When She Touched Him

There is a picture of me taken over a decade ago. In it, I am half-asleep in the floor of the Philadelphia airport. My body, lounging on the floor, my head, atop my carry on.
Presently, I am overwhelmed with stuff like that. Dirt. germs. Grungy feet and bugs and being out in public.
I have a growing -irrational-fear of being outside.
And I resist this.
Truly, there is so much beauty in the fields, woods, waterways. But I get so frightened of the what ifs... that I stop myself from enjoying.

Two weeks ago we were parked outside a Sheetz #cleanestpublictoilets #sothankfulforyou
Resting on a stack of black crates was a man looking worn and tired.
As Big Strong Man went inside to purchase something, I kept my eyes upon this man. He made me curious. Assuming he was homeless, I watched how he interacted with those passing by him.
He was not asking for help.
He was not glaring and intimidating.

Big Strong Man returned to the van and I asked him if we could offer this man something. We had food in our van, including an untouched burger from Burger King. As we discussed it in the quite of our van, the woman who had parked beside us returned to her car and gave the man on the crates a second glance. She sat in her car and I immediately judged her: she didn't even care.
Naturally I, wanting to offer the man something, was better. Pious, that's what I am.
But then, to my amazement, she got back out of her car and approached the man. She knelt down to his level and spoke with him. She handed him something, likely some cash, and stood up. As she was standing, she gently touched his face with her whole palm, leaving it there for just a moment as if a mother to a child. A dearly loved child.
With tears welling in my eyes, I realized that I would not have wanted to have had touched him. Happy to give him food, a kind word. Happy to pray from him and offer a smile. But touch?

In the fall, the movie I'm Not Ashamed, is coming to the theaters. This movie depicts the life and faith of Rachel Joy Scott. Does her name sound familiar?
When I was in the tenth grade, Rachel was on the news, having been one of multiple murders during the Columbine school massacre.
On this blog, I have mentioned Rachel before.

In this trailer, Rachel mentioned how she had always been drawn to hands, "I think it's because its the way that you touch people".

What if, this fall, we attend this movie premier and honor Rachel and each of the others who were killed that day? And what if, like Rachel, we offer our hands to something bigger than us?




-with desire to be His hands,