Love Letter to My Body

I am in the third week of a MOPS truth or dare. Yes, truth or dare :)
This year our MOPS theme is

and the MOPS leadership team put together a game for MOPS moms to play...or not play, their choice.

Me? Well, I'm all in...I am also a ways behind.

One of the truths in this past week was to write a love letter to my body. I thought this was a FANTASTIC idea...and when I saw my dare option, I knew a little thank you to my body was in order.

In an act of obedience and gratitude, I am writing this and praying about if the Lord wants me to, publish.
Maybe it will just be between the two of us.
Maybe I'll share.
Who knows?

So, with all the framework laid out, here is my love letter to you, Shannon's body.

I see you everywhere I go, Literally.
When I think, when I breath, when I look, it all comes back to you.
You're kinda important to me.
Actually, you're really important to me.

Let me first apologize. I know that I have not always treated you nicely.
I have spoken cruelly about you.
I have professed hatred for you.
I have starved you, cut you, and overworked you.
You did not deserve that, and I am sorry.

As a young woman I had high hopes for you.
What you could do for me; as if we could operate separately.
But as an adult...a wife and mother...as a 33 year old with eyes to finally see;
I know that you are good for me. And I for you.

Dearest thighs...you get such backlash.
I like you best when you look slim and for that small period of time when you didn't touch one another.
But more than your size, I appreciate you.
The way you propel me forward when walking, jogging, and dancing.
The way you are built strong and can lift our sons, one at a time, up and down, up and down.
This elicits giggles every time.
I thank you for strength and giggles.

Dearest breasts...even saying your proper name sounds odd.
Like I should giggle or blush.
I am thankful for you.
Exceedingly thankful.
You, I fear, have had the most severest of my wrath.
My most pointed out, self-conscious "flaw".
But you are enough for me...the Lord has chosen so.
And my husband appreciates you just as you are.
Well-meaning family remind me that you will never sag and I should be over the moon for that.
And I am. Please help me to be, always.
You remind me often of a grandmother I wish I had known better.
Most importantly, you have sustained life for these three amazing sons.
For twelve months, twelve months, and fourteen months, you offered yourself through pain and fatigue.
You gave yourself freely and loved our sons perfectly.
I thank you for your reminders of humility and gratitude, and the life you gave our boys.

Dearest face...oh my, my heart.
My heart races with this one.
Perhaps because, more than any other, it is you I see day in and day out.
In the mirror.
In my mind's eye.
In pictures.
I have looked you dead-on and declared hatred.
Cried and cried, until I wept uncontrollably.
You have endured so much.
Make up and acne.
Sun spots and blackheads.
Sunscreen and lotion.
Noxzema, Clearasil, Clean and Clear, Cetaphil, Neutrogena, Proactive, olive oil, Biore, baby oil, Sea Breeze, soap and water.
Sand, masks, oil, charcoal.
We have experienced a lot together.
Bell's Palsy.
A nose piercing.
Ear piercings.
Whitening strips.
Glasses.
Brown eyes...maybe hazel.
Hair of many colors.
Over-plucked eyebrows and an obsession with chap stick.
Two pox scars on my cheek.
My dearest face, I love you.
Truly.
It is with you I see the man who declares his love for me everyday when he reminds me to breath...tags me "out", while he jumps "in" with our little men...encourages me to do less...or do more, but to do that stuff for me.
When he tells me I look beautiful.
That he likes me just as much -maybe more!- without the make up and fancy hair.
For lips to lay a million kisses on the heads of these three boys I could kiss forever.
On their foreheads, cheeks, bellies.
For ears to hear giggles, and worship, and rain.
For a nose to smell a brand new baby's breath and the plastic covers of new books.
I am thankful for a reminder that it is alright to feel pretty, and sometimes make up and a hair straightener are what is needed, but it is equally as nice to go au-natural and simply appreciate the "imperfections".
Yes, I am 33 and I have both gray hair and acne...but this is my story.
The body God has chosen for me.
Face. You are beautiful.

Dearest mind and heart.
You two are a package deal here.
I am so appreciative of your love of words and your love of love.
LOVE.
You love God passionately.
You do. You do!!!!
You have a gift to take words and bring out their beauty.
To place them on display and boost their spirits.
Much like your heart is to love others and bless the Lord.
Much as your spiritual gift is far and away, the gift of encouragement.
I am thankful for this mind with which I am reminded that it is never too late to begin trying, caring, and studying.
And this heart, which hurts for the hurts of the world, and still places every hope in the name of Jesus.
It is here where I found Jesus.
In my heart, my mind to follow.
Thank you for taking the lead, heart.
Thank you for being vulnerable.
Willing.
And thank you, mind, for following up with logic and maturity, and a realization that you work best when you work together.
I am so very thankful for you both.
From you, I am given the emotions of peace and joy, and the words to articulate.
Mind and heart, thank you. A million times, thank you.

Dearest Shannon...thank you.
For not giving up on me.
For not caving under the pressure of unkind thoughts and actions.
For sustaining me through travel, education, and mothering.
For housing my spirit and my soul.
I mean this when I write this. Thank you for being you.
I like you.
I like you a lot, and sometimes love you.
Regardless, because sometimes it is simply difficult to confess this thing about one's self, I so appreciate you.

-yourself