Wind
Oh.
As I sit, I wonder if there is a gift of being a fool.
As I sit, I wonder if there is a gift of being a fool.
Hear me out:
There is a Cool Hand Luke song called, "For You".
*so good*
Here are the lyrics:
My sweet Jesus,
I love you.
And I'm trying so hard.
It's not so easy,
Down here anymore.
Everyone just treats me,
Like I'm crazy or something.
Sometimes I feel like I am,
Because no one seems to understand.
But if I'm a fool, I'm a fool for you.
And if I'm alive, I'm living just for you.
If I sing a song, then I sing for you.
I sing all day long, in everything I do.
My sweet Jesus,
I'm sorry,
That I let you down again.
It's not so easy,
Down here anymore.
Everyone just treats me,
Like I'm crazy or something.
And sometimes, I feel like I am.
Because no one seems to understand.
But if I'm a fool, I'm a fool for you.
And if I'm alive, I'm living just for you.
If I sing a song, then I sing for you.
I sing all day long, in everything I do.
I will rejoice in this foolishness.
The underlining is of my doing.
*****
Yesterday I was at church. We missed worship because we were late getting to church (read all about why this is important at: Giftings; part 1)
We have two morning services.
When the fist is over, Big Strong Man typically goes to a Men's group and I typically help out with the kinder.
I decided to stay for second-service worship.
I had NO IDEA that would be the best thing
I could do that day.
*****
On Wednesday night I attend a Bethel worship event.
It is no secret- I am in awe of the heart for God which comes out of there.
Some of my favorite talents are those who embrace this "ugly worship". (I really need a new phrase for this!)
It's really neat that so much about this world is in conflict with God.
-Up is down and right is wrong;
Ugly is beautiful and foolishness is the desire.
So I watch the worship and I see the faces looking all funny and the tears which seem uncontrollable. I see people jumping like little children and waving their arms like...fools.
And I admire this...I desire this...and I chase hard after it.
I catch the wind.
*****
John 3:8The Message (MSG)
7-8 “So don’t be so surprised when I tell you that you have to be ‘born from above’—out of this world, so to speak. You know well enough how the wind blows this way and that. You hear it rustling through the trees, but you have no idea where it comes from or where it’s headed next. That’s the way it is with everyone ‘born from above’ by the wind of God, the Spirit of God.”
-emphasis mine
It was easy to be a fool on Wednesday night- surrounded by other people equally as foolish (looking) as I.
Melissa Helser was singing and she begins to speak to the crowd, asking if there are many of us who deal with anxiety, depression, heavy burdens.
She asked us to raise our hands. *like fools*
She prays and prophesies over us and then asks something crazy -something foolish- of us.
Wave good-bye, she says. *like fools*
Wave good-bye to the anxiety.
Good-bye, I wave.
Wave good-bye to the depression.
I wave good-bye.
Wave good-bye to the heavy load.
I wave.
You look ridiculous!, She exclaims.
Keep waving!
You look ridiculous and it is beautiful!
Lift your arms up and catch it! The Father is here! Your anxiety, your fear, they are leaving. Wave good-bye.
And I understood it.
The truth in the foolishness.
I understood the gravity of the song, Catch the Wind, and I understood the heart of For You.
*****
Worship begins. Second service.
I sing along. Many of us are singing.
I raise my hands. My arms lifted high. -I want to catch the Lord.
Melissa and Johnathan Helser have a new cd called, Beautiful Surrender (buy it here).
And this, too, I understand.
It is surrender.
My arms, outstretched like a criminal, caught, or one raising a white flag.
I surrender to the Lord.
He can have all of me.
It is beautiful . It is my gift to Him. Given to Him willingly.
The tears fall and my right leg does this crazy bouncy-thing where it does not allow me to stand still. So I bop.
BOP!!
I look like a fool.
As worship comes to an end I remain a little longer. We have tithe to offer and during first service we were late for that as well.
I greet my neighbors.
And here is where it continues; an overflowing of the Spirit.
We feel as though the Lord has given us a word for you, say the man and woman behind me. I felt it first, she says, and he confirmed it to me. Can you stay a few moments after service?
Why yes, yes I can.
So I remain and listen to Nate's sermon once again. Laugh at his quirks, once again.
The service ends.
Through tears, they proceed to share with me many lovely things. Things they have graciously written on paper and I shall cherish forever.
Then they ask if they may pray for me.
Why yes, yes you can.
I see a heart like David's. A heart seeking after Your's, Lord. A heart unashamed. David was the greatest worshiper of all time.
David's wife despised David. She despised how he acted and looked like a fool and how that reflected on her...
Many other things were said to, and prayed over, me. Darren and Beth, thank you. But I was stuck in that portion.
David looked and acted like a fool- the EXACT VERNACULAR I had used that week during worship at the event.
I looked like a fool, a fool for Jesus.
And I was delighted.
Keep worshiping. Your passionate worship draws the Father's eye,
she wrote.
Wow.
*****
They prayed over my family. Over my sons. They prayed that they would seek God all the days of their lives. That they would rise and call Him blessed. -This, as well, is EXACT VERNACULAR to the prayers I pray over them, over all of McFive.
Prayers inspired from Proverbs 31:28.
*****
Beautiful Surrender is a choice.
A choice to lay down one's life; One's giftings.
They are not our own anyway!
I willingly choose to lay down my life (daily) and I write this -not because I am something special- but because it is sweet.
They sing this song called, You Came (Lazarus).
The chorus rings like this:
You came.
I knew that You would come.
And, like a human seeing a superhero come through, I cry out, I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD COME!!!
-
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