Do You God-Parent?
Although Pennsylvania and Indiana are only separated by one state, Ohio, you might think that they are on different planets entirely. At least I would.
When Big Strong Man and I were married in the Spring of 2009, I uprooted my life and merged with his near an army base he called his second home, while we made our first house together. Our first home.
Our single story, laundry room/bathroom combination, carpet in the kitchen, lake cabin.
It was a sweet home and served us very well for the 11 months we lived there.
It was during that time in Indiana, and the last five+ years of marriage, that I have noticed so many differences in the way we were raised, the way that we speak, and even our enunciation. We are just different.
When B.S.M. first came to P-ville, where I spent most of my life growing up, he said that it reminded him a lot of the Full House introduction: houses all built one right on top of the other, lots and LOTS of hills. I think the similarities ended there.
When I first when to his hometown, a little placed called Kokomo (yep, like the song*) I thought he had grown up on the set of the Wonder Years: single story farm houses, front and back yards, children riding their bicycles on the streets.
In P-ville, we locked the doors of our vehicles, even when they were parked in our own driveway.
In Kokomo, people would leave their house doors unlocked when they left for the store and having friends stop-by and eat their food or jump in their pool during that time was not unusual.
We grew up differently.
My husband says roof like I think a dog barks, "ruff". I say it like "r-ew-f" and he thinks that's the dog-barking sound.
He says "C-ment" and I say, "sa-ment" when we are both talking about cement.
Different.
Once we took our Littles to a playground here in NC and sat on a bench near an older couple. The couple began to speak and within mere moments, my Big Strong Man guessed that they were from the same county I grew up in. Indeed, they were.
We were all impressed.
It's the way your enunciation goes up at the end of our sentences, he had said.
I don't hear it.
This is me with B.S.M.'s and my god-son, E.,
on his birth day.
2013
So I suppose I should not have been so shocked when the question of god-parenting came up and we were like strangers meeting in the dark: I love the idea and love having god-parents (still do, still love them and feel a sweet bond with them), his family never stressed the god-parenting role and so he could have really cared less.
What's the big deal?, he wondered.
Prior to our getting married, three+ years prior, my amazing Lexie-kin was born and I became her god-mother. When B.S.M. and I were married, this became a shared role: he, too, was officially a god-parent.
Still, he didn't get it.
When our first son was born, we talked about god-parents again.
Although many people, myself included, like to believe that the role of a god-parent is to be there for the child in the event of the death of the child's parents, that isn't quite the jest.
A god-parent is one who assists in the spiritual well-being of the child. Someone who prays for them. Someone who loves them like their own.
We desire to be all that and more to our god-child([ren]- we now have two).
Here is our god-daughter, Lexie-kins.
This photo was taken at B.S.M.'s and my wedding.
She was one of four flower girls- that story is for another day!
This picture is almost six years old, but is important to me.
Blurry and all.
She had fallen asleep during our ceremony and we waited until
the last minute to wake her for pictures.
Too cute!
2009
Our hope is to have that beautiful, real relationship with these children whom we are attached to in a deeper way. -in a semi-parental way.
With this being such a taboo topic on his end, he really fought against me to have god-parents for our children. He really did not see the point.
I am still not sure he does.
He has agreed that this is important (enough) to see it through with me, however.
What if, after all, we were both to die together?
What would become of our boys?
To whom would they go?
Which state would they live in?
How would they be raised?
Would they stay together?
There are too many what ifs and open-ended possibilities that we both agree need attention.
When BSM and I thought about our boys, we wanted a certain kind of future for them. Here is what we considered of highest priority (although in no particular order):
*they would remain together
*the family they were with would love Jesus and teach our sons about the heart of Jesus
*a smoke-free (drug free should go w/o saying) home
*a family that would love them like their own
*someone who can instill good work ethic and the importance of education, service, and fun
*someone who would make great effort to keep our boys in contact with their biological extended families
So today I am posing these questions of god-parenting, what are your thoughts?
Are you a god-parent?
Do you have (a) god-parent(s) for your child(ren)?
Did you have god-parents of your own, and how did they (or didn't they) add value to your life?
Love them like my own!-
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