The Thing About Magazines

Magazines began showing up at Casa McFive. The first was Oprah's "O" and that was followed by Better Homes and Gardens. Eventually, Cosmopolitan, Elle, and a fleet of others arrived as well.

At first it was kind of fun. I enjoyed getting lost in stories I did not know I wanted to read. I even found someone else to cyber-stalk for a moment: Glennon Doyle Melton.
(Never mind the fact that I accidentally subscribed to the magazines when I filled out a form for a $100 FREE Wal*Mart gift card. I DID NOT get the free gift card, but I DID end up with a lot of magazines and two payments of $30+ each. Boo.)
I cancelled the subscriptions. I actually begged to have a refund because I never meant to have them in the first place...I just wanted free Wal*Mart money. The lady on the other end of the phone offered a half refund. I was a little satisfied (read: not really) and had to work up enough nerves to ask for more. Graciously, the lady on the other end of the phone took mercy on me and gave me the FULL REFUND. I asked, she fulfilled my request. Had I not asked, she would NOT have done it on her own. **GOOD TO REMEMBER.**

My husband saw the newest issue of Cosmopolitan in our mailbox and it stunned me a  little when he threw it directly into our outdoor trash. No going back from there. I wanted to object. I would have liked to have taken a gander inside, but he quickly let me know that that garbage was not allowed in our house.

The man struggles with purity 

and smut is no friend. 

#smutisnofriend

I agreed and was both enamored by his self discipline and excited (read: EXCITED) at his convictions. #GOBigStrongMan

Today an issue of Elle showed up and B.S.M. was at work so I thought, why not? It's just the boys and me, and it will be in the recycling container (way at the bottom) before he ever even gets home. I went about preparing lunch and didn't think much of it...until I saw Zeplin (6) leafing through a magazine on the floor and my heart jumped. 
What did he see?
It there nudity in Elle?
Were any subliminal messages sent to his young mind which would resurrect when he is 14? 
Did I fail my son?????

After a millionth of a second, I composed myself and saw that he was leafing through a Better Homes and Garden magazine and Elle was still sitting on my dinner table.

I didn't need another moment to make the choice I should have made from the beginning. Elle hit the recyclables with a thud, and I squished it as I shoved it down low.
I will not read the article about Tina Fey, but I will keep my convictions. I will not see the newest and greatest in someone's opinion, but I will keep the eyes of my sons and husband protected. 

Although the subscriptions were cancelled, the lady told me the magazines would still pour in for a moment. I will be glad when they finally cease. Mostly, at least. If Better Homes and Gardens keeps coming (for free), you won't be reading about me complaining! *winkwink