If you are new around here, you may not know that my husband, (affectionately known as Big Strong Man or B.S.M. around here), and I have been married for a literal decade.
We have been participants in pre-marital as well as marital counseling, and have been doing this off and on for the last 11 years.
That's a long time.
Coming into marriage, I held with increasing strength honorable, lovely, and whimsical ideals.
I thanked God beforehand for all the ways He was going to both bless and be blessed in this marriage.
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| Our SECOND Wedding Day |
It was all Snow White singing to the animals in my head- or rainbows and unicorns, if you were to ask B.S.M. for his point-of-view.
And then it began to sink.
During our first few months of marriage, my world of hopes and dreams were shattered as we learned together that marriage is so much more difficult than we had thought, and that, try as we might to "do the right thing" or "honor God in this situation", somethings things straight up sucked.
I ended up on anti-depression medication that very first year of marriage.
I share all of this now because it has not always been easy nor even a desire of mine, to honor my husband. I mean this to say, I never wished to be a terrible wife or a horrible person, but I have, on more than one occasion, wondered (sometimes aloud- sometimes to his face), if I have made a huge mistake- the mistake being us.
Big Strong Man and I.
Out of our marriage we have three incredible sons, so I no longer think of us as a mistake, but there's this caveat. This part of me which rebels against him.
So when Ruth reminds us to be, "...always fighting for and not against each other.", I hear her.
Maybe you are in a healthy marriage which is real (and sometimes real= ugly), but safe and loving. Maybe you are in a terrible relationship which is defined as abuse.
And maybe, you are more like B.S.M. and I.
This is not the marriage of our dreams, but it's ours.
And it is difficult, but it is worthwhile.
Ruth shares a prayer at the end of each day's devotional. Today I am simply going to write it all out.
Father, help me truly respect my husband.
Help me watch my words, guard my heart, and be mindful of my actions.
Holy Spirit, empower me to build up, not tear down, my husband.
Help us to fight for, and not against, each other.
May the love You have for us be the kind of love we express to each other.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Friend, if you are in a relationship going well, or one on the rocks, pray.
Press into one another and pray for one another.
If you are in an abusive relationship, seek outside help.
People you can trust like friends, family, and counselors.
However and whenever possible, I hope we will all chose to Show Honor
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