I am not trying to brag here, but I am grateful that Big Strong Man and I are the type to open our doors and say welcome!
When we lived in our Indiana lake house, we had guests over while we were away and it both thrilled and terrified me- what would they think of our humble home? Did I clean up well enough? How was the toilet? Did they like the food we kept in our fridge?
When they left, having had asked us to come and swim in the lake and go fishing and all the perks our lake house offered, they left behind a kind note of thanks and a few gift cards.
| This was SO NOT our Lake House, source |
Flash-forward, and it was our turn. We were driving late into Kentucky and, as was custom with Big Strong Man, he had neglected to call ahead and ask his best friend if we could stay the night. Turns out, Best Friend was out of state and his house was on lock-down. When B.S.M. reached out to another friend, we learned that he and his family were also away, but, alas!, they had a secret key he was happy to help us find.
So...entering a house and living in it while the homeowners are away, that's kind of a huge deal.
It felt so imposing and yet free.
And here's the thing- it was spotless!
Unlike our friends who came to our lake house, our friends whom we had time to clean and prep for, this set of friends had no idea we were coming. And yet, their home. *sigh*
Although this was hugely impacting on me and I vowed to have a clean house always with the hope of impressing a friend from out-of-state needing a place to stay, it wasn't my reality.
And my guess is this: it isn't yours, either.
First off, this does not make us failures. There are an entire slew of reasonings that may play into the conditions of our homes, so let's lay that out there on the table and just be okay with it all.
It's a heart condition which is the more important of the matter.
Romans 12:13 says this:
Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Practice hospitality.
Well, what does this look like?
Maybe it is a humble serving of pb&j on white bread.
Maybe it is a humble serving of pb&j on white bread.
Maybe a messy kitchen table...and sink.
And maybe, just maybe, it's permission for your guests to know that you are not perfect, and that is just fine. -neither are they
It gives everyone permission to breath.
Back when Big Strong Man and I had only our firstborn, we attended a couples-seminar in our then church. There was, maybe, 15 of us sitting in this small room watching a video of some man speaking before releasing us to groups. One of the Scriptures he shared that day- almost 10 years ago- is something which comes immediately to my mind.
Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests.
In essence, we are the oxen. Our spouses, our children, our pets, us. We form a family and our manger is our home. If we all leave, the manger remains clean, but while we are there, it gets messy- this is our humanity. Here's the kicker- it is when we are together we find our strength. I know for sure that when my family is together, there is a lovely bond- there is also a lot of mess.
But here come our abundant harvests:
What we have sowed into:
Life.
Ruth writes this: What makes a home is not the bricks and mortar or whether it's spotless or stylish. What makes a home is the presence of the people who live there.
A few years ago, Shauna Neiquist, who is well-loved around here, wrote a book called Present Over Perfect.
And that is just it- presence.
-always,
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