Go Mommy Blogger and The Better Mom Devotional, day 8; Words Matter

I have three sons.
In a given day, my oldest, Zeplin, will tell and retell a story five different times, each time adding a little more detail and keeping his audience in suspense. Something as simple as his trip through the cafeteria line could become a 500-word dissertation.

My middle son, Demetri, he is a loud one. He has two volumes, 0 and 100. When he is comfortable, ornery, or in trouble, he is typically full-kilter, living life loud and louder.

And my youngest son, Thatcher. He will be having a speech examination and evaluation come September because sometimes, after the fifth "huh?" and numerous attempts at, "can you please show momma what it is?", we are both Over.It. 

All this to say, we all speak, a lot. Some of us sing, like my friend Jamie and her husband who are both legit teachers and chorus stars; some of us write, like my friends Betsy and Liz, Stephanie and Gayle; some of us perform, like my beloved Madison.

This morning two of my three sons would not listen well. It was time to go and one refused to help himself do anything at all. Another behaves in a way I view as being sly and sneaky and I knew I needed to nip that in the bud right away.

So I sent them upstairs, even the one who was listening.
The activity I had hoped for today was not so important that we needed to be there, and, I figured, maybe a stay-home kind-of day was ultimately better for everyone.

I chose to use my words to send everyone upstairs.
"Go up, build something with your Legos, read a book, sort your Pokemon cards, something. Just be upstairs."
And when asked why, I reminded my boys that I don't want to be the mean mommy who looses her ever-loving mind and begins to yell.

I chose my words, because, words matter.

Whether we like it or not, we as moms are most often the ones who set the tone of the home. And our words are one of the primary ways we do that.

Yes, Ruth, preach.

As moms, we do more than just communicate information to our kids; the words we speak shape young hearts. So God wants us to be careful with how we wield the enormous power of our words.

Remember my sons? One of them has used his good manners all morning. It is not like he is a perfect human -he has his moments more than the other two combined!- but how could this not look like a punishment to him? Being sent upstairs, same as the two brothers who were clearly in the wrong?

I knew I needed to communicate with him, to explain myself.
The thing is, I have been the mean mommy.
The screamer.
The crier.
The slam-the- door-er.
I have even been the spank-out-of- control-er.
And I don't ever want to be her again.

Ruth does a fantastic job of explaining a Biblical truth here.
She writes:
"The Bible also reminds us that our words reveal what is in our hearts. If a tree isn't producing fruit, the problem is in the root system. Our real struggle with words is actually a problem with our hearts... Ask God to change your words by changing your heart." (emphasis mine)

source

What's particularly great about a tree analogy is that trees bear fruit (or flowers, pines, etc.)- there is a reward. Let us not become weary in checking -and when needed, changing- our hearts. 

Here are some Bible references to sit with awhile.

Matthew 12:34 

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good things, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Proverbs 4:23 

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Proverbs 10:11 

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

Luke 6:45 

The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.

Source of all these references and more, found here.

Let's all have a heart-check from time to time. 

A good place to start is today. 

-always,