They wanted to play in our front yard. We live in a nice community and the request was simple enough. Grabbing my book, a go-to while outside, I informed my sons that they had the field directly next to our house as well as the driveway.
It was some sort of race including a ball and I loved that they invented the game they played over giggles.
As I sat down on our stoop, noticing Zeplin at the far end of the given boundary, the scene began to unfold in front of me as if in slow motion.
A neighbor a few houses down. Seeming to be a male, but wearing a dress and heels...and a pointed hat. Although I don't think his/her/them was trying to do anything other than dress in drag, my son -innocent as the day is long- began laughing. Hard.
Demitri! Demitri! He yelled over and over, trying to get his brother to acknowledge him. Look! Doesn't he know it's not Halloween!?
The laughing continued on his end as I was able to snap out of the exacerbated fog I was in while I had watched it all unfold. Zep! I called, Zep! Still trying to get his brother's attention, I had to be noticed over his own excitement and yet not draw even more attention to our "situation".
Oh, Mylanta!
As Zeplin took notice of me and I was able to calm his hysteria, I sweetly informed him that it is never okay to laugh at someone- no exceptions! We don't laugh at how people look, dress, or even if they "think it's Halloween in February". Let the man be, buddy. Maybe he wants to dress like that because he thinks it's fun- or funny, because, to be frank,
Still musing over this the following day, wondering how I could have premeditated this event or how to handle it going forward (this man/woman/them is, after all, a neighbor), I asked a friend for some advice.
And she floored me.
Although the advice I elicited was about how to teach my children and stay on top of situations they may become more inclined to notice, she reminded me of something completely other.
Shannon, your son didn't do anything wrong. No, the laughing at another was wrong, that is truth, but it was the OTHER part. The part of him which, innocent and creative, formed a narrative in his mind about what was happening and made his own sense out of it.
Call it creativity, problem-solving, call it what it is- confusing and abnormal. All he did was use his brain to form a conclusion. For a 10-year-old to assume that the man/woman/them was "playing dress up" was a perfectly logical and, dare I say it, intelligent response.
And in that instance I knew she was right.
It is this level of humanity, innocence, naiveté, even shelter. I chose not to introduce my children into the LGBTQP+ community yet because they are young and it is confusing. FACT: We have homosexual friends. FACT: Sally the Squirrel in Netflix's adaptation of Pete the Cat has two fathers, a concept my young children aren't old enough to truly understand. FACT: My eldest burst into hysteria while shopping for a Halloween costume when he was still a little squirt. His hysteria was brought on by the onslaught of demonic, ugly, and confusing pieces he saw. My summarization of all of this: CHILDREN NEED TO BE CHILDREN- NOT YOUNG ADULTS. Some of these topics are too difficult for adults to understand, much less our impressionable children. Also, it is not the media's (nor government's/school's/church's/etc.) responsibility to teach our children according to their agenda, but ours- as parents- to teach our children with compassion, understanding, and conviction.
Which is my take-away. No, son, we don't ever laugh at someone. We don't belittle- there is never a time for that. But ask all the questions, form all the hypothesis, and use that beautiful INNOCENT brain of yours to understand what you encounter to the very best of your ability. And when all of this is done with love and conviction, son, you'll be just fine.
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