Yes, I may have...but before you cancel me or throw stones, hear me out, if you don't agree with me by the end...well, I guess I'll hear about it. (Also, for those of you already offended or hurt, my apologies, honest. This is a post of humility, not people bashing.)
Nothing was said to anyone's face, again, I am no monster. The truth is, with the exception of my sister, to whom I was venting, this wasn't even a conversation, but an outpouring of both bewilderment and clarity.
A few months back I began working in our local schools as a substitute teacher. Really, it is a great gig because I get to meet so many wonderful people: staff and students alike. I enjoy the work and try to be as helpful and accommodating as possible, mostly this comes easy for me as I am a people-pleaser by nature and I have a love/hate relationship with my Enneagram 2 self, who silently begs people to see me as I try to make Every. Single. One of their lives easier. In some ways I am a Yes Girl.
To date, I have been in eight local schools, everything from elementary through high, and I have found myself with the same thought at all levels...this kiddo has no manners. (The butthole reference above got your attention, right? It was a lure to bring your focus here.)
Whether it was the student who refused to put away her phone after repeated reminders and then challenged me when I told her I would need to take it away ("you can't touch this") and who ended-up getting pulled from class because of her rudeness, or the student who finds entertainment in holding the class hostage when he refuses to stop talking, on more than one occasion I wondered what on earth these parents were doing, as teaching their children good manners was obviously not high on their priority list.
And then it came around full circle. With the eye roll, the "are you even listening to a word I am saying?", and the, "who are your parents, anyway?"...and the funny thing was, this time it was me. I was the parent. (More specifically, one of the parents.) It was my turn to see my son misbehave and wonder if he was raised in a barn. And in that moment, like some form of enlightenment, I realized that these children weren't that thing I wrote above -although, to be fair, they sure acted like it- but the reality was, they were probably great kiddos who were having a moment.
Furthermore, ya'll, I know I can be a Butthole, straight up. I am not proud, there is no bravado here, just truth. How can I call out some other parent when I am no better?
At the end of the day, I suppose I want to say something important, so here goes:
I am sorry I called your kiddo a butthole...even if he was acting like one and I only said it in my head...
and also, teach your kiddo not to be a butthole. The best, most effective way to do this: stop being one yourself, Myself included. And finally, hear me now, the "moment" your kiddo (or mine) had, that only makes sense in a reality where it is not a constant. If your child -my student- doesn't have manners, I can think of very little they will be learning at school which is more important than that.
Parents, we have a choice here. We can raise children who are butts or we can raise good people. I hope we all see the value in the later.
No comments:
Post a Comment