Invite Someone Into Your Pain, Day 64: 100 Days to Brave

Do you remember the day I scored Perfectly Unique from the library and the next day Annie wrote about it in her 100 Days to Brave devotional?
How about a round-two?!

Yesterday I shared with you about how I was bulimic during my time in Germany. It wasn't that I came to Germany as a bulimic, but it was a solution -albeit an unhealthy one- to the weight I was putting on during those cold days. Fresh bread was delivered daily to our doorstep and as much as I tried to pace myself, I found that, between the cold weather and the delicious food, I was falling out of shape.
To add insult to injury, I flew to Germany after spending three years in Los Angeles, where I was training for the LA marathon and was my skinniest (wearing a size 2 jean!) ever!

Unfortunately for reality, coming home from Germany did not stop my solution to weight gain and I found that I would be throwing up and running on a constant basis.
Let's be clear, the running was good, real good. 
The throwing up was the issue.

Before leaving Germany, S., the man of the house, wished me well and bid that I seek help for this problem. It wasn't the reason I left Germany, my bulimia, but it aided in my decision to leave early.

And although my immediate family knew the reasons behind my returning to the States early, the bulimia was something we hardly ever talked about. Ever.
Because it was hard, and uncomfortable. 
Because it was embarrassing. 
Because it was better left unspoken. 

I am not longer bulimic. 

I have not been for over a decade. 

But that pain, that shame, and that desire for quick release, 

it still shows up. 

It still lingers. 

It is a constant decision and prayer to remember that God has better for me.
His plans for me are good. (Jer. 29:11)

Annie's reminder today is to: Tell somebody you trust. Please. The darkness can't hang around when it's exposed in the light. 

Be Brave: 

Friend, tell someone you trust what pain you are experiencing. 

Don't keep secrets anymore. 

prdoctorchicago

And I want to do brave things. 
I have current pain. Pain in the form of hurt feelings, hard truths, and disappointments. Just today I had to hear some. And I cried. But I am not alone. I am not keeping this secretive. It is good to share this because, although humbling, it is also brave.

Write brave truths. 

Live a brave life. 

I bet you want that too, don't you?