Marriage and Facebook
I think I am setting myself up.
It's the title of this post, which I keep re-evaluating in my mind because I hope you read this and not "judge a book by it's cover" -or a post by it's title.
My Big Strong Man and I share a Facebook account.
Neither one of us is sauve enough to understand Instagram,
Twitter, or whatever else may be out there. And I feel so sad to confess this, as if he was a true friend of mine,
but "Tom" and MySpace have long-ago been left behind. (Which, I truly think is shameful, because MySpace TRUMPED Facebook in the coolness department with profile building, music, and creativity. I have no idea how Facebook came out on top.)
Before we were married, we each had our own accounts.
I suppose that's why I changed my original title from "couples
and Facebook", I don't think as an unmarried couple you would need to share. I would say that's still grounds for
having your own world. You are still unatttached; no vows spoken on one another's behalf.
As one half of a marriage, I certainly do believe in sharing.
We shared vows.
And our bed.
We shared the experience of becoming first-time parents together.
And without a doubt, when we had it, we shared Facebook. (We also tried sharing a gmail account. This worked for about a month before I could no longer handle the overflow of emails that my other half would ignore but not delete. Too cluttered for my liking.)
accounts, and the start of our broadcasted-for-your-viewing-pleasure, one-of-a-million-others, social media life together.
And this worked for us.
It was accountability.
It was relational.
It was interesting.
During this five year run, we learned about mutual friends we unknowingly shared; we were introduced to numerous friends with stories and pictures of younger versions of us to embarrass and delight our other halves. We were reunited with individuals from our pasts who were a positive experience to one of us and a negative to the other.
This proved really interesting to see how we now, as a married couple, faced the adversity.
Facebook is a tool.
It is neither good nor bad. This is called amoral. Amorality is the absence of, indifference towards, or disregard for morality. Morality meaning, the differations of intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are "good" (or right) and those that are "bad" (or wrong). (Both definitions came from Wikipedia.)
In short, Facebook is neither good nor bad.
As with social media, the use of it can be certainly be moral (good or bad). This is similar to money. It all comes down
to the place you give it in your life.
If you have read this and disagree please know that I am not trying to convict you. Some people impose their individual convictions while disregarding the free will of others.
When I was a freshman in college, my gorgeous roommate, who looked like a cross between Snow White come to life and Shirley Temple with dark hair, was reading the Harry Potter
series. Many years before, I had a season of my life during which my -then- closest friends and I thought witchcraft
was fascinating. Our fascination led to a deep interest in learning about Tarot cards and beads, spells, and other
things I still have a real difficult time talking about.
We took something that is, perhaps, amoral (I personally think this is wrong through and through, but again, I have my own convictions), and put it into a high place in our lives,
thus making it moral.
In retrospect, it was scary and sinful, and wrong to my core. Even during that time, I felt uneasy about it, but that did not stop me.
It did, however, lead me to be extra sensitive to "entertaining" even the Harry Potter series.
When I once tried to impose my conviction onto this Snow White roommate of mine, asking if this did not "hurt her Holy Spirit?", she promptly combated me stating, "You are not my Holy Spirit".
Boy was she right, and I never forgot it.
More recently, one beloved friend of mine endured what could have been the end of her marriage. It seemed that she was powerless, just waiting on her husband to decide if he was still wanting to be married.
She was powerless, except for the faith and love that she has for Christ, which propelled her to pray for forgiveness, redemption, and restoration for her family.
After weeks of not knowing from day to day what his decision would be, he chose to stay and work on his marriage.
Their marriage.
This couple did not share a Facebook account and in those weeks of uneasiness, it served as a tool to further drive the two of them into heated battles, if not verbally, inwardly.
Back to marriage. I take my vows seriously. I know many others who do as well. This runs over into every aspect of our
life- for we have become one.
Our thoughts, actions, hopes.
The majority of my married friends, even Christian friends, do not share a Facebook account. Some do, but also have individual accounts as well.
REGARDLESS, I pose that a single, shared, account is the BEST CHOICE for MARRIED COUPLES.
For ACCOUNTABILITY. RELATIONALLY. And for a UNITED FRONT.
What have you discover works best for you? If you are one half of a married couple and have an opinion, question, comment, or other, please leave a message. I think there is great reason to truly consider what is to gain by sharing.
-yours, gomommyblogger
No comments:
Post a Comment