(Preface: As I am about to publish this, I read through this post for grammatical errors and inconsistencies, things I do with all my posts. Today I decided to publish this because we find ourselves in the midst of wait and desire. Do we stay or do we go? More and more, my Big Strong Man has expressed his desire to establish roots and establish them sooner than later. The post was originally written months ago but only today I am sharing it. As of today, we are still uncertain of what -and where- the future holds for McFive. Perhaps you are also in a place of waiting on God. Let us encourage one another in the moment. Godspeed.)
I was 27 years old the first time I was graced to see the beautiful state of Kentucky.
One of Big Strong Man's best friends and his wife and family live in the absolutely gorgeous countryside where neighbors have horses in their massive yards and all of the homes look like those in a wealthy, upper-class, golf course retirement advertisement.
It's magical to visit.
On New Year's Eve 2010, B.S.M. and I drove from our little cottage home to this incredible estate to ring in the new year with friends.
I remember I wore a sparkling purple dress and felt so pretty.
Although my love for Kentucky was instant, the desire to move there was gradual.
Big Strong Man and I returned to Indiana and eventually moved to North Carolina; Kentucky simply a place of great memories and future pit-stops when visiting fellow Hoosiers. (Big Strong Man is a Hoosier, I am a Yankee. -I think something like 80% of North Carolinians are transplants from the North.)
Our decision to move to North Carolina was to be closer to family (and because it seemed exotic). One of B.S.M.'s sisters had decided to move her family down south. My in-laws followed and eventually we did as well.
In two leaps however, they were all gone.
First my sister-in-law and three nieces, and second, my in-laws.
Gone.
Back North.
We live in a very nice community. This is the nicest home I have ever lived in, and, my in-laws, who lived here before we ever did, were retired before enjoying this lifestyle.
In less than 2 years of marriage, and being in our lower 30s/upper 20s, we were living like those who had a lifetime of hard work under their belts.
We were living like those who actually earned it.
We do not ever take this for granted.
One day it occurred to us that this simply did not feel like home anymore.
We are grateful for the house and community.
Grateful for friends and work and events we are blessed to be involved in.
Grateful for longer summers and shorter winters.
It's just...well...we are three kiddos deep and family is between seven and ten hours away-At.All.Times.
In truth, this simply does not feel like home sweet home without family.
For the here and now, this is home.
We are not living in anticipation of moving tomorrow, we simply feel strongly on both our hearts that we will be returning North, as well as our family had, and living much closer to family, in time.
That wasn't always the case, though.
We really wanted to move to Kentucky. -Remember, the community our friends live in is incredible!
There is good work, a quieter, more homely upbringing for our Littles. Lots of opportunity. Sigh.
Good stuff.
Last year our KY friends found two homes on a joint piece of land and tried desperately to purchase one of the homes while encouraging us to pursue the other.
Fantastic, right?
Not long after, we were visiting my sister-in-law in Indiana.
She lives on four acres of land and now has six children (two stepsons and a toddler in addition to her three daughters): it's pretty incredible!
Unbeknownst to us, there was a double-wide on the property behind her with a semi-private lake and it was for sale.
Again, it was incredible!
My in-laws moved into a cottage on her property, so there was a lot of appeal just thinking about how all of the cousins could grow up together, the families could help support one another, and we would all have a huge shared space along with our own private space.
We left that place with wishful thinking.
It was not long after we returned to North Carolina that our closest friends in this state told us they were moving as well. They traded-in their lovely home in an upper-class community for 50 (!) acres of land in the North Carolina country.
In the beginning, Big Strong Man would go out there daily to help put-up chicken wire or paint a barn, really anything he could do to be helpful and feel more like he was living in the country.
His heart is for acreage and water.
With all their new land, they offered us some as well -dirt cheap- in an attempt to keep us close. We could purchase a beautiful double-wide, same as they had, and, again, have so much acreage and freedom.
These three locations each seemed like open doors and prospects for new dreams.
There was one problem, however.
In the midst of discussing the pros and cons of each location, we lost focus.
Where did we want to be?
Where did God want us to be?
It was around this time when my heart became more and more focused on Pennsylvania.
The Keystone state is the state I grew-up in.
Although I do much prefer that the Lord lead us (far) away from the county I was raised in, which has a lot of it's own issues, I absolutely melt at the idea of attending birthday parties, anniversaries, and family reunions: all of which my family makes a huge deal out of!
Do you have dreams?
I bet you do.
...I bet we all do....
My simple advice is this:
consult the Lord, always.
After you have consulted Him, don't forget your own heart in it all.
Keystone state bound! (someday),
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