Only one problem here.
My little men and I have been going to this museum, fairly faithfully, and we have not yet made friends. It's a little embarrassing to write, but I do, because I wonder if you are similar to me. If you wish someone would just up and befriend you?
So then today happened.
Today there were two sweet little men and a parent eager for friendship. Kind. Similar in disposition (staying at home with little ones). But then there was that other thing. The thing where he asked me for my phone number so that we could have future play dates. Um...no.
So, this happened to me last summer and I have had all this time to prepare myself for a repeat offense. The thing is this, he seems really nice. His babies are adorable! We each have a pass to the museum and will run into one another again. BUT he is a he and I am a she and I do not think that shes should give out personal phone numbers to hes and neither should hes give out numbers to shes, unless neither she nor he is married. Am I alone here?
When I was asked for my number last year, so we can plan a play date for our children, I gave the man my number and felt awkward and burdened the entire time. I knew I needed to be stronger and take a stand for my own safety and comfort, as well as that of my husband. I knew that play date was not code for anything else -or at least I hope not!- but the idea was this: it would not feel good to me to find a female's name and number in my husband's phone. Even if my husband told me all about her, it is not alright with me. We take our marriage vows very seriously, and that leaves no room for compromise. No room for discomfort.
We are one another's best friends, so considering your spouse's feelings here is a given.
Perhaps you think it is because I am insecure.
The answer to that my friend is this, no.
I am a married woman, I HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING MY NUMBER TO OTHER MEN.
If I truly thought this man and his children would be good assets to our lives and desired further play dates with them, I would offer my husband's phone number or ask for the man's wife's number. Simple as that.
(And the truth is, my husband is not a fan of my giving out his number for a random man to call and consider a play date. This has never happened. I think I spare my husband, not because these men are bad men, but because I know this would not be his favorite way of building a new friendship.)
So it comes down to this, as a wife who respects her husband dearly, this is a line I had to draw in the sand. Once this man asked for my number and suggested meeting up again I was quick to tell him that I was sorry but, you are a married man and I am a married woman and I don't feel comfortable giving out my number.
I think he understood that it wasn't personal, but the truth is, I cannot worry about offending him. When I gave the guy my number last summer, he called. He called and called. I never once picked up my phone. I told my hubby what transpired and I felt horrible for the three of us. My husband is not the type to feel insecure and threatened, but it wasn't a fun conversation to hear that his wife gave her number to a man who kept calling. (Once I told him, my husband decided that he would answer the phone calls after that. He never needed to, by that time the man had stopped calling.) I felt bad for the man, who was likely a good man, calling a woman who had given him her number under the pretense that, sure we can arrange a play date. And I also felt sorry for myself. It was uncomfortable and I knew that I lied to one person (the man whom I was not interested in having a play date with), and I kept it from my husband because I was worried that it would frustrate or worry him. It was a horrible position to be in.
And so I try to no longer worry about how others may perceive me. My heart is good, and God can attest to that. One day I will stand before our amazing God and I desire to have a pure heart for Him to enjoy. Until then, I will be faithful to my husband and my husband's heart at all cost.
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