Go Mommy Blogger and The Better Mom Devotional, day 9; Expecting Progress, Not Perfection

I do this comparison thing often. I look at the milestones or extracurriculars my sons have accomplished and completed and I look at the children of those close to me and compare.
(Would it sound more noble if I also admit that I compare "big people" things as well? The size our my house compared to yours. The vacation you went on compared to mine. How often you are invited to spend time with the Pastor's family vs. how often I am.)

I suppose there is no nobility in the comparison game.
No one wins.

Although Ruth's title for today, Expecting Progress, Not Perfection, can be a sermon for all areas of our lives, she is focusing here on children. It is this comparison between children, even a child against himself.

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Here, Ruth writes, "Our goal is not to raise good kids; our goal is to raise kids who will love Jesus and love the world."
And, I would add, in that order. 

She continues, "It is God's goodness and not our great parenting that ultimately changes our kid's hearts. We have a part to play, for sure. But remaining patient with our kids allows us to do our part while trusting God to do His." (emphasis mine)

So the comparison game becomes mute. 

What difference does it make if one child is involved in 12 "extras" and others are content to simply be home?

Big Strong Man has strong words to say about this. He absolutely can not stand to be busy seven nights a week. He disdains having one more thing on the agenda. And speaks of quite summers, those where the children get lost in their own backyards or spend endless days swimming, as the most rewarding- not those stuffed to the gill with camps, amusement parks, and even vacation Bible school- of which I am a hoarder. We do ALL THE VBS's.

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There is a tension between us here- where he wants the children to entertain themselves and I want another item on the docket. He desires that they throw a ball for fun in the driveway and I crave their being on an official team.   

This has been tricky for me. I can make assumptions as to why he prefers one way and I prefer the other, but we can agree on this: the pace of our sons is self-lead. Now, granted, we encourage them to do what they do and to do so well, and we invite them to join and participate, but if they are more comfortable remaining home -which is a great "problem" to have!- then we are *learning* how to be just fine with that.

I know I want the accolades, but it is an issue of pride I need to let go.

At the end of her devotions, Ruth asks some questions or prompts. Today she writes this, How can you be more patient, focusing on progress instead of perfection?  

And I would respond like this, when I crave the spotlight and the team tees; when the thought of watching from the sidelines or jumping in as coach; when I can envision a wall full of ribbons and medals; I forget that this is about them and not me. And the simple fact is that this is their lives and I want what is best for them. Them is not me. 
I take this invisible burden upon myself, wishing and hoping for something that currently is not, all the while not seeing the forest for the trees.
My sons are home with me and they are happy. 
And that is all the difference. 
Being involved in activities eight nights a week or having these "quite summers" together, the point is togetherness. Memories. The focus is on them and their well-being, and on progress, not perfection.

always,